Under the Fuzzy Green Hat

October 11th, 2010

The Thanks That Keeps On Giving

Did you know? Today is Canadian Thanksgiving. In honour of my favourite holiday, here are some turkey-flavoured Thanksgiving tidbits:

Originally, Canada didn’t have its own separate day of giving thanks. Instead, the United States’ version of the holiday was simsubbed across the border.
Despite the popularity of America’s Thanksgiving among Canadian audiences, the CRTC ruled that the holiday was “too angry” for our nation, and subsequent celebrations were embargoed. This decision grew into a long-standing schism between the two nations’ cultures, eventually resulting in Canadians not being able to watch Hulu, listen to Pandora, or watch embedded clips of The Daily Show.
Hululess and bored, Canada created its own entertainment, through Degrassi, hockey, and burning down the White House.
Finally, the Government of Canada caved in to popular demand. Through a loophole in Canadian content legislation, Canadian Idol was born.
The CanCon loophole also resulted in the advent of Canadian Thanksgiving. In honour of this, canned corn has become a staple of Canadian Thanksgiving dinners nationwide.
Canadian Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday of every October. Any later than that, and the harvest would turn to ice. (For similar reasons, Saskatchewan refuses to celebrate Daylight Saving Time.)

While there’s much more history behind this noble and spectacular holiday, this brief lesson should give you the basics you need to impress your Canadian friends and family at dinner tonight.

And above all: give thanks. Taking thanks would just be un-Canadian.

June 27th, 2010

Zoom

Ahem.

I believe it’s called the World Championships, anyone is allowed to win (not just Brazil), players tend to actually score goals in hockey, and there are less annoying vuvuzelas and more awesome green men in our noble sport.

Just an FYI. You know. If that’s all right with you. Eh.

May 16th, 2010

Basketball — A Part of Our Heritage

To those from outside Canada: Did you know we invented basketball? IT IS TRUE.

To those from Canada: but I need these baskets back

February 25th, 2010

yowhatsthehaps:

Okay. I can’t embed this, but it is by far the most amazing thing to come out of the 2010 Olympics. BRIAN WILLIAMS AND BRIAN WILLIAMS. TOGETHER. AT THE SAME TIME. BEING AWESOME.

The best line comes from Foxy Brian Williams: “No, I wouldn’t think for a second that you were a moose rider.”

The meeting of the Brians is a shining symbol of the hope that peace between our two nations is possible within our time.

Reblogged from I've made a huge mistake.

December 30th, 2009

Zoom

Harper to prorogue Parliament

Prime Minister Stephen Harper will move to prorogue Parliament for two months until after the Vancouver Winter Olympics, the Prime Minister’s Office announced Wednesday. […] The move to prorogue is widely seen as a strategic move by Harper to gain a majority on Senate committees while possibly also avoiding criticism over the Afghan detainee issue.

So the guy is a) strengthening his party’s hold, b) avoiding criticism about Afghanistan, and c) getting time off for the Olympics?

Stephen, you genius son of a bitch. (But seriously, a prorogue is a dick move and you should really be ashamed of yourself for doing it twice in just over two years.)

December 23rd, 2009

Today, Ryan's Angry At: ROGERS

rheise:

Marsha, Rogers CSR: You cannot have the unsubsidized price for that phone. We can give you a monthly credit, but you can’t have a subsidy.
Me: Even if I wait until my contract is over and I start fresh?
Marsha, Rogers CSR: No, it doesn’t work like that. _We’ll know_.
Me: So it’s in my best interest to either let my contract expire in a month or buy it out now and move to Telus or Bell, and get a plan that I want and a phone for a reasonable price?
Marsha, Rogers CSR: ….
Me: Because that seems a lot less expensive to me.
Marsha, Rogers CSR: …. Yeeeeeeaaaaaah.
Me: Thanks for your help, Marsha.

Ryan, you just need to be more grateful this holiday season. Did you know that in some third-world countries, they don’t even get to choose the carrier for their iPhone? Believe it or not, there are places without socialized cell phones, and I think we need to remember the less fortunate this Christmas.

Lest We Forget.

Reblogged from The Ryan Heise Collection

December 21st, 2009

Zoom

Okay, iTunes. Technically, Boxing Day (for those out-of-band, it’s like Black Friday, except you only get three downs) is this Saturday, but that doesn’t make it Boxing Week yet. So go back, take your sign down, and wait until the 26th to offer us great albums at great prices.

December 20th, 2009

Log Driver’s Waltz (via the National Film Board)

Any Canadian following along will immediately feel memories flooding back at this juncture. For those from lands apart: lyrics below so you can sing along too.

If you should ask any girl from the parish around
What pleases her most from her head to her toes,
She’ll say - I’m not sure that it’s business of yours,
But I do like to waltz with a log driver.

Chorus:
For he goes birling down a-down the white water;
That’s where the log driver learns to step lightly.
It’s birling down, a-down white water;
A log driver’s waltz pleases girls completely.

When the drive’s nearly over, I like to go down
To see all the lads while they work on the river.
I know that come evening they’ll be in the town
And we all want to waltz with a log driver.

To please both my parents I’ve had to give way
And dance with the doctors and merchants and lawyers.
Their manners are fine but their feet are of clay
For there’s none with the style of a log driver.

I’ve had my chances with all sorts of men
But none is so fine as my lad on the river.
So when the drive’s over, if he asks me again,
I think I will marry my log driver.

Under the Fuzzy Green Hat

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The Thanks That Keeps On Giving

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